Something I Ate

Really when it comes down to it it’s just another excuse to celebrate. :p It’s a custom, and just as most customs don’t make a hell of a lot of sense, engagement parties plug into a lot of that. Some people like tradition, but really a lot of us do it simply because it’s fun!
From my perspective when Steve and I got engaged we wanted to party. We wanted to shout it from the rooftops! What better way to celebrate than an engagement party?

Yes, with common day living arrangements the gifts of house things are becoming less useful. But it’s not like engagement parties are disimilar to other events in that way. Say you were to move house next week and someone brings you something for the house as a “house-warming gift”. Is the house unlivable until you have a party and people bring presents? No. But you know what? It’s fun. :)

But still on the presents thing, most couples these days request cash instead, to put towards wedding or honeymoon. Some couples have a “cellar party” instead, where you just give them a bottle of wine and they drink it over the years to come.

Engagement parties are also useful in that they allow loved ones to gather to congratulate the couple. Otherwise said couple are being bugged to come and visit every friend, uncle, cousin and their dog until all the congratulations have been said and gifts exchanged.

What I do disagree with is the social pressures that people feel to conform to said customs in a way that they feel doesn’t fit them. People shouldn’t feel that they have to have a party and such when they think it’s a lame idea.

What was the question again? Oh, right. The “deal” with engagement parties when it comes down to it is to celebrate the decision of a couple to spend the rest of their lives together. I’ve said before that in some ways I really consider my engagement ring more significant than my wedding ring, because that’s when I decided to spend the rest of my life with Steve. The engagement party was a party after the fact, so that we could share our happiness with others.

Now I can hear the question “Well what’s the point in a wedding then?”. I see the wedding as an extra special party to celebrate and formalise the fact that the decision has been made, that more people can bear witness to and be a part of. Really it’s for connecting your feelings with your fellow human beings, a very basic human need.

Neither of the parties make the love any grander, and according to regular trends they obviously do little to protect the union from breakup. The point is to sing it from the rooftops, to celebrate it and to share it. Might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I can certainly see value in it. :)

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You caught me in a writing mode. :p

You could have a “we have no plans for splitting up – cellar party”. *L*

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