Ahh, Public Service ~ the little lioness

Ahh, Public Service

Emailed around by a workmate:

Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons

Speaking of Chemistry – Rish cooked dinner tonight :)

We take safety seriously

We take safety seriously.

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0 comments for “Ahh, Public Service

  1. February 4, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    Should be cooking dinner on the Bunsen burner ;)
    .-= MissWiniW┬┤s last blog ..Review: Roman Holiday =-.

  2. February 5, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    LOL! Nice for a Friday afternoon chuckle :P

  3. Shelley
    February 5, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    No gloves + no protective clothing (lab coat or apron) = safety fail. I did hear that safety training in Aus was inferior to here in NZ… :-P

  4. February 5, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    He considered the lab coat…

    you won’t be happy that he was only wearing socks ;)

  5. Sue
    February 6, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    We have a toaster at work with the standard OH&S notice which tells you not to insert “foreign objects”. Not sure what you call a piece of bread compared to a toaster…

  6. February 7, 2010 at 10:22 am

    *giggles*

    Toasters aren’t allowed at our hospital anymore in the staff rooms, as they’ve set the fire alarms off too often. After our most recent one, I think we might be heading that way soon. Got evacuated into the rain on thursday

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