My Dark Place

April 20, 2013 · 10 comments

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We all have places, some darker than others, where we are pushed sometimes. Or we retreat to them by choice, as a way to deal with the world. Sometimes entertaining those dark thoughts can make us remember that it’s not actually that bad, at least not always. A little bit of wallowing, and back into the world we head, relatively unscathed.

Other times it drags us in deeper, I’m thrown in by a slight rejection or miscommunication. And I’ll stay there a little too long. Long enough to start forgetting how to get out of it on my own steam. And forgetting that it’s worthwhile fighting my way out.

There are side doors in this dark place, out into little rooms of light. But you’re only allowed to stay there for a limited time, then they switch off the lights and put you back in the dark place. These little side rooms of distraction are just that – distractions. Reminders of why you want to get out of the hole, but not the way out. That is a long journey, best done with some hands to help pull you over those rough patches, the parts where you slip and fall back a little into the hole. two steps forward, and 1 or 3 back.

A little bit like the fall in the Labrynth, except some of the helping hands are holding razor blades.

But I’m going to try to fight. Even though I’m not a great climber, and get fooled by the distractions.

I’m going to try.

{ 10 comments }

Kim @ Frog Ponds Rock April 20, 2013 at 5:33 pm

Trying is good :)

Fiona April 20, 2013 at 7:42 pm

I think I can I think I can? Or even if I dopn’t think I can, keep trying anyway?

chrispy April 20, 2013 at 6:26 pm

You describe this so evocatively. A lot of us are with you.

Fiona April 20, 2013 at 7:42 pm

thanks *hug*

The Femmetastic Feminist April 20, 2013 at 6:38 pm

So evocative, you are such an amazing writer. <3 <3

Fiona April 20, 2013 at 7:47 pm

awwwww. now to post some random food porn to lighten the mood

Caroline April 20, 2013 at 9:28 pm

Lots of love & hugs to u <3

Gary April 21, 2013 at 2:51 pm

Hang in there Fiona. As you’re hanging on for dear life I hope you get the support you need to hang for a while and to climb out *hugs*

Kristy @ The Life She Made April 23, 2013 at 4:42 pm

A well written piece, though it sounds like you are in some pain. I hope the razor blades turn into helping hands really soon.

JD May 7, 2013 at 7:22 pm

“Do…or do not…there is no try”

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