Knowing your limits

June 16, 2013 · 4 comments

Most of us are terrible at saying no. Squeezing more and more into our days, trying to, apparently, get the most / give the most out of them.

What do I expect of myself?

Do I have expectations that aren’t guided by someone else’s (actual or imagined) expectations of what Fiona does, who she is, and what she can manage.

Manage.

Zoey just wrote about ‘managing’ depression. For me that is very similar. I manage. I get by. I tread water. Trying to stay afloat for that day when I can do more than that.

The day when it goes from struggling to tread water and keep my head up, to being able to float there, and perhaps even enjoy the swim. One day.

At the moment, I’m feeling myself stretch my energies too thinly. Leaving less energy to keep me treading water, and giving me more lapses. I have moments of forgetfulness, of slower processing, of not seeing a point to getting out of bed. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to function as well as I should. I get angry for putting myself in this position. For not respecting my own limits. For having those limits, but not thinking about them until I falter.

Bronwyn writes that accepting her own limitations has become easier with time. I still have all these shoulds in my mind. Like that I should be working full-time, and managing outside obligations, and have a social life and be happy and healthy. That I should be the Fiona that I think you all expect me to be.

{ 4 comments }

Bronwyn June 16, 2013 at 2:46 pm

Our own minds, our own thoughts, are the hardest thing to manage. While I struggle with my physical illnesses, it is my ability to control my own emotions that is the hardest struggle, my own feelings about myself, that never ending critic inside my head that never shuts up. However, the older I get, the quieter it has become.
Love and Hugs Fiona, try to overcome your perceived expectations of others, because they are just that, perceived. Not easy, but it’s the truth, those that love you accept you just the way you are, because that is what love is.
We struggle, more than most people realise, but we are never failures.

David Mackie June 16, 2013 at 8:31 pm

Speaking of Social Life… Next time you are visiting (Especially for a Derby Bout) ping me ahead of time. Had I known you were here for Skate-Turion I would have put down my Camera and bought you one of the Awesome Ciders they had total yummmo !!!

Everything else … My policy is you can do what you can do, and not everyone operates at the same level. Pushing is great within where you are challenged not frazzled.

Fiona June 16, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Pretty sure ill be down the in the first two weeks on July I have leave and need to get out of town

Caroline June 17, 2013 at 10:58 am

What Bron said. Lots of love & hugs

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