Had a disasterous afternoon shopping with Rish yesterday. Hating everything I tried on, hating sizings, hating that I can’t be a more common bra size, wishing I was just looking for shoes… but it has all motivated me today. So what, I couldn’t fit nicely into the size twelves I was trying on in dresses - I have a few cm to lose, I just need to work harder. Yes, I know a 14A is not the most easy to find bra size. There a two options there - stick with the Bonds bras that fit me well, while woring towards being a 12 again. I can do that.

I know I haven’t been the most motivated the past week or so - 4 days straight of PD is an “excuse” … but a pretty poor one. I didn’t have to eat the snacks and junk sitting on the table. I could have squeezed in an extra gym session if I’d gotten myself out of bed, but throwing in a few late nights, while I should have probably been asleep in my own bed, not that good for an early gym start.

But I went yesterday and pedalled on a bike. Not much of a sweat, given that I was all snotty with this stupid cold, it wasn’t too bad. And today I went back, jogged a little, and will hit the jogging properly again tomorrow. But I did well on the elliptical.

Different motivators? Being able to fit a sexy corset that fits me. Yes, there were some held back tears when I realised that the size 12 Pleasure State corset I was trying on was going to slowly kill me if I stayed in it. But I will get there, and there are a few events to aim for. :) I have a thing for hot lingerie, so want to be able to wear the pieces I want!

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Do you ever find role-playing to be a good learning tool? (in the non-sexual sense. role playing can teach alot, particularly if I play the role of ‘teacher’ Miss Fiona with cane in hand…) I remember having to do it through uni - ‘Okay Amanda, now you pretend to be a stuttering client, and Fiona will teacher you prolonged speech’… and rememebr feeling like it was just acting rather than teaching… but after awhile you get practised at it, even if it’s just for pretend, and it’s easer to say the right things at the right time when you’re with the client/patient/colleague/examiner… and after awhile you feel like you actually do know what you’re talking about and aren’t some acting fraud.

Work’s still like that at times, feeling like soemtimes I have to say things a few more times until I feel like I really know what I’m talking about, not ust using someone else’s knowledge and words. Making them my own, putting my own opinions into them. Sometimes I feel like my personal and professional development can be slow at times, but seeing small changes.

This weekend I’m off to Melbourne for a branch presidents meeting. Feeling like I’ll learn more than I can contribute at this stage, but liking the opportunity to put myself out there and try something new. Plus I’m getting flown there, put up at the Oaks and being wined and dined at a place called the Curry Vault which looks rather sweet ;) Plan is I’ll get there in the morning so I can do some Melbourne clothes shopping. Hopefully I won’t come back with much, but I might find something I like that I couldn’t get here in Canberra :) I also have a new Marie Claire that came today to read on the plane to inspire…