Hey ASIO – I can has job, plz? #heyASIO

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Dear ASIO,

I am writing to apply for the job on Internets Stalker, as advertised in ********* on ********.

As a fan of the Internets, I am a skilled user of mainstream and lesser known stalking services, such as Facebook, Foursquare, luring people to meet me on OKCupid, using my SKILLZ to get their mobile numbers and freak them out, and getting people to reveal themeselves as THREATS TO OUR WAY OF LIFE by monitoring comments and retweets of suspicious images that criticize the Government, like the one below.

Having worked in an organisation with an unwieldy shared drive, I am skilled at using the search bar to track down a file that I SWEAR WAS JUST THERE but someone must’ve moved….

Unfortunately, I cannot get my webcam working, can you help with that?

(Oh and if Senna-link calls, please confirm that this as one of my forty job applications)


The Little Lioness



  1. This really made me smile! I’m looking forward to seeing if they take you up on your offer, so I’ve given you a follow on Facebook. ;-) x

  2. Haha, I haven’t seen the #heyasio hashtag before, so you’ve just given my quiet Friday night in a little humour. Excuse me, family, as I laugh for no apparent reason whilst trolling around on Twitter!
    Do let us know if you receive a reply

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