We all wish that we could say “NO” instead of “YES” sometimes. There are moments when we feel ashamed, lazy or not conductive enough if we have to reject something. Humans are social animals so, of course once in a while we need to move together, but still, not always. It’s a fact that you can’t be productive if you are doing too many tasks together. Taking a break once in a while is also an essential skill. Some people are afraid of saying “No”, because of their fear of rejection. At times the fear of saying no and finding that “yes” word has just jumped out of your mouth, can commit you to things that fill you with dread.
If you, like many of us, have a problem with saying “NO”, here is how you can master it:
Saying No does not necessarily make you a bad person
You may be confusing refusing a request with dismissing the person. There is a colossal difference. Individuals may tend to overestimate the difficulty that the other person will have in taking the denial. Lion’s share people are happy to accept honest “NO” if it is conveyed appropriately. Very often it helps deepen a contact, as when you are honest, it frees the other person to express their feelings and enables them to ask for support again without acrimony.
Frequently, the career path taking off is linked to the people being able to say NO.
The false feeling of empowerment
Saying “YES” often connects us with our egos. Egos are the biggest traps in our lives. No wonder we want to make ourselves seem even greater. Helping others and doing their jobs gives us a false taste of winning some non-existential battle with ourselves. Some commercials are dedicated to saying NO, which clarify the idea behind it. If something doesn’t change and grow your soul then just refuse taking it in your life.
Is it really worth it?
The person who must decide if saying “YES” is really worth the effort and time. For example, there are some people who like to spend and earn more money than others. They often gamble or invest money in different fields. Beforehand everything one must well acknowledge where to invest money and how to say “NO” to uncertain activities. There are many doubtful online casinos where one can go bankrupt or scammed. Still, people are investing real money, in the hope of earning more and winning some bonuses. Frequently they develop some dependency on uncertainty and illusions of becoming wealthy. Surely, there are some honorable online slots for real money, which are legal and offer customers some valid services as well as some exciting and entertaining possibilities. Despite this fact, it is still essential to understand the value and the effort you will need to input while saying yes to online gambling. So, sometimes, knowing the challenges of acceptance of everything, makes your life less stressful. After all, the efforts you make to improve your quality of life depends on yourself.
Helpful tips for saying “NO”
Refusing something at first will be the hardest part of your journey. We tend to have a tendency to be people-pleasing. Don’t wait till your energy drains, to make a step and start believing in yourself enough to speak your mind. To be authentically yourself is the biggest task and one must take actions as soon as possible.
- Keep your answer simple – If you can’t do something, be firm and direct. Avoid long and rambling justifications.
- Be polite – Recognise that you can refuse something aside from being rude. In addition you may say “Thanks for asking”.
- Be honest – Make some simple remarks.
- Know your priorities – Even if you have some extra time, don’t you want to spend it on something you will enjoy doing? Spare times are so rare, make sure you are spending it well.
- Maybe later – Oh, if this sentence would not exist how would we even communicate with each other right? Instead of shutting the door completely, sometimes postponing something you will never do is the best idea!
- It’s not you, it’s me – Classic, right? Surprisingly this dating rejection can work in many situations.
- Imagine some scenario – practice saying “NO” in the mirror or during the shower. (Guilty of doing that)
- Remember that your self-worth doesn’t come for how much you will do for other people.
- It’s better saying “NO” then to be resentful later.
- Don’t feel trapped because of being uncomfortable.
Discomfort is a new comfort zone
How much are you willing to learn? It depends on how much you put yourself in uncomfortable situations. We, humans, are so used to staying in our comfort zones that sometimes we forget that we don’t take anything valuable from it. New things are awaiting us and yes – at first we are going to suck in it! But it’s okay since we are not born professionals. We all start from something and then it takes us to another level of confidence and less stressful life. Surely, discomfort is scary but being trapped in a situation where you can’t help yourself or your life is even harder. In the long run, staying in one place is unhealthy and will give you existential pain. We all can avoid reality but we can’t avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.