Managing Meltdowns: Effective Strategies for Calming and Supporting Children
All children experience strong emotions from time to time, but some children are prone to more extreme emotional reactions known as meltdowns. While upsetting for both child and parent, meltdowns are not something children can easily control. Below, we will discuss in more detail what meltdowns are and provide some strategies and techniques to help prevent and manage meltdown behaviour in children.
What Are Meltdowns?
Whether you’re a parent or you’ve recently become a foster parent, you will already know that, while there are many positives to bringing up children,there are also some challenges. Meltdowns can be one of the most difficult behaviours to manage. Children prone to meltdowns tend to have high sensitivity, struggle with transitions, have communication difficulties, or have diagnoses like autism or ADHD. Meltdowns are not the same as typical tantrums where a child is pushing boundaries. They represent an emotional overload that the child cannot control. As a parent, it is important to understand that meltdowns are involuntary for the child. However, with time and consistency, you can help your child learn better emotional regulation.
Preventing Meltdowns
The best way to handle meltdowns is to prevent them from happening in the first place. While not always possible, some strategies can reduce the likelihood of a meltdown:
- Stick to routines and provide warnings before transitions. Changes to routines can be very distressing. Give plenty of warning before activities change. Use visual schedules.
- Avoid overstimulation. Monitor noise levels, lighting, crowds or other factors that may overwhelm your child. Have a quiet space to retreat to.
- Make accommodations for sensory needs. Provide fidget toys, headphones or other tools to help regulate sensations.
- Watch for early signs of distress. Note behaviours like fidgeting, pacing or changes in breathing. Intervene early with calming strategies.
- Ensure basic needs are met. Hunger, thirst, fatigue and other unmet needs can trigger meltdowns.
- Give choices/control where possible. Providing a sense of autonomy can help minimise distress.
Managing Meltdowns in the Moment
Despite best efforts, meltdowns still happen. When they occur, staying calm is essential. Remove others from harm if needed, but avoid restraining the child. Here are some in-the-moment meltdown management tips:
- Remain calm and use a low, steady voice. Your calm presence helps regulate the child. Shouting or punitive responses will escalate the situation.
- Move the child to a quiet, safe space free of stimuli and observers. Their bedroom or a calm corner works well.
- Reduce verbal direction. Talking or asking questions can overwhelm a melting-down child. Use as few words as possible.
- Offer comfort items. A special toy, soft blanket or other preferred item may help self-soothe.
- Try rhythmic movements like rocking or swinging. The sensation can help children regulate.
- Hum or play calming music to help drown out upsetting stimuli.
- Sit quietly near the child. Your presence reassures even without direct interaction.
- Avoid eye contact or touching the child unless initiated by the child. This respects their emotional space.
- Remain until the child is fully calm before resuming activity. Moving on too quickly can re-trigger distress.
Meltdowns are challenging for both children and parents. It is important to respond calmly, prevent escalation, provide comfort, and offer support before and after a meltdown occurs. Also, remember to be patient with yourself and your child as you find strategies that work for your situation.
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